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Title: Humor/Jokes - Gocount.com Providing original jokes on news and celebrities.

Humor_of_Phil_Kaufman One-liners, stories and links. Original content.

The_Laugh_Lab A scientific experiment undertaken by the University of Hertfordshire in the UK to find the world's funniest joke.

Pigboy Collection of categorised jokes and original humour articles. Includes a forum, regular mailing list and an agony uncle.

Tony_Follari Original jokes arranged by category.

Archive_of_Useless_Facts__Bizarre_Laws A large selection of strange and weird laws from around the world that are all real.

The_Constitutional_Foundations_of_Shirley_Edelman\'s_Latkes What would six famed constitutional law scholars have to say about this Latke recipe?

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Dumb_Laws A list of some of the stupidest laws in the United States.

The_Dumb_Network Dumb stuff from laws to warnings to criminals.

It\'s_the_Law! A collection of strange, bizarre, and unusual laws about alcohol and drinking.

Kenny\'s_Laws The meaning of life revealed through observations on biology, philosophy, and the people around him.

Lawpsided Featuring bizarre legal news, irreverent commentary, surveys and two Fantasy Supreme Court Leagues.

Laws_Of_Work The Laws of Work from the Barking Spider.

Looney_Laws "It is against the law to gargle in public " and other odd laws in different US states.

Seymour\'s_Laws Some laws that apply mostly to high school bands.

Am_I_Wasted? Rate how wasted various people look. Visitors can submit their own photographs.

Arm_of_Elvis Help find Elvis' arm. Post messages and pictures, send ransom demands, or play games.

AskTheBrain Computer generated encyclopaedia, giving randomly collected definitions to words and concepts.

2Atoms Original and classic weird comedy, featuring political comment, the worst of the web, spoof interviews and comment on sports, current events and celebrities.

Avery_Ant A stop motion ranting ant gives his opinions. Requires Flash.

Beer_Can_Bob Soliciting stupid photos of Bob on a global scale.

Belching_Bob Amusing ways to let off a gaseous stomach.

Belly_Dancing_Fun_And_Frolic Jokes, cartoons and animations, silly poems and songs, and other mayhem related to belly dancing.

The_Best_Deal Hear an audio file conversation of a real parrot making a joke about frying its mate on a frying pan.

Biffie Interactive entertainment; odd articles, short stories, poetry, amazing facts and commentary.

Big_Gay_Bear Bizarre, offcolor humor and links, spoof articles and a forum.

The_Big_Shit_List A comprehensive list of different types of human excrement.

Bizarre_Abyss Features an 'evil name' generator, virtual drug dealer, message boards, bizarre news and photos.

Bizarre_Occurrences_and_Weirdology_Network InnerArt cyberzine presents Harry Farkas' columns Bizarre Occurrences and Weirdology Network.

BizarreNews_com Weird and unusual news from around the world.

Blue_Shite Humour, ramblings and funny links. Lots of toy destruction.

Bog_Goblin Ask questions, piss on people you hate, and find out about things you'd never consider.

Bootroad_com Attempting to prove that being sick can be fun.

Bream Random humor, bizarre stories, links and squid.

Catalogue_Of_Ridiculous_Records A list of ridiculous world records.

Center_for_Shopping_Cart_Abuse_Prevention One-stop shopping for all information regarding the pervasiveness and pervertedness of shopping cart abuse.

Cheesy_Wotsits Observational comedy, interviews, bizarre movies, strange photographs, quizzes and experiments.

ChickenMcNugget Highlights weird news, strange events and odd sites.

Clownz_com The original site for those who have an aversion to the grease-painted ones.

Coke_or_Cleaner? Challenges visitors to tell the difference between narcotics and household chemicals.

Compfused_com Assorted strange links, humorous comment and videos.

Cracked_Egg_Donor_Page_ A series of bizarre answering machine messages and emails from mother to son.

Crackpots_On_The_Internet Insolitology, the facetious study of oddity and weird sites on the web, from Alex Chiu to Scientology.

Dave\'s_Daily Strange, funny, and bizarre news stories and pictures.

Dead_Diseased_Baby The disturbing adventures of an abandoned, rotten baby doll found in the Georgia Woods.

Dead_People_Com A stupid religion for those who insist on being led.

Demonical_com Visitors can trade souls online.

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GoCount.com - The Fastest Jokes on the Net death of bob hope and kobe bryant

the fastest jokes on the net...popular:kobe jokesrecall jokesbush jokesgigli jokesmisc. jokesjokes directorytvmoviesSuper Fast, Sometimes Funny Jokes All 100% Original and Current! Be first in at the water cooler! When news breaks, laugh here first! Got something to say: contact usWant to Reprint or Post our Jokes? Click HereWelcome to gocount.com where you will find the fastest jokes on the net. That is, when news breaks, we will do our best to post a joke. While not every joke can be a winner, these will be original jokes that you will not find anywhere else on the net.Question of the Day: For a million dollars would you have your life end six months earlier than it normally would? Yes No

Previous Questions: For a million dollars would you give up listening to all music for the rest of your life? Yes No

For a million dollars would you lose your left arm? Yes No

In the News...Kobe Jokes Continued:Q: Why did Kobe Bryant buy a dictionary?A: To figure out what part of "no" he doesn't understand.Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so confident that he'll rebound well after this scandal?A: Because he'll be the tallest player on the prison team.Q: Why is Kobe Bryant stacking money in his backyard?A: To practice jumping bail.Q: Why has Kobe Bryant started smoking a little pot?A: To help him prepare for the Big Joint.Q: Why does Kobe wear goggles during sex?A: To keep the mace out of his eyes.Q: What do Gigli and Kobe Bryant have in common?A: Both leave people in tears feeling screwed.Q: Who's the head lawyer on Kobe's legal team?A: The one with dirt on his knees.Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so worried about jury prejudice during his trial?A: Cuz no one likes a rapist.Q: How is Kobe Bryant spending his free time this summer?A: By adding a second bedroom to the dog house.Q: Why did Kobe add the letter "O" to his bracelet?A: So it would stand for: "What Would O.J. Do?".Q: Why did Kobe buy his wife such a huge diamond?A: Because the weight of it slows down her punches.Q: What did Shaq say when he heard of Kobe's marital infidelity?A: Kobe making a pass? She must be lying.Q: What did President Bush say when he heard that Sprite might drop Kobe?A: "Who cares, I'm a coke man myself."Lights Out, Uh Huh:Q: What did Bush say when he heard of the massive blackout?A: "It's nice to see our civil rights program working."Q: What did the blind guy on the subway say?A: "Hey who turned off the lights? Oh, no, I mean do you want to buy a pencil?"Q: What did President Bush first say when he heard about the blackout?A: "Send in that Engergizer Bunny!"Economic Woes:Q: What's the major thing that separates Bush sr. from Bush jr.?A: 8 years of economic prosperity.Q: What did Bush suggest struggling families do to increase their income?A: Sell their vacation homes.Q: How did Bush respond to criticism that his tax cuts weren't helping the economy?A: That's just fuzzy math, in fact, my family alone has already saved millions.Q: What did Bush say when asked about the rising deficit?A: Don't worry, I'm firmly committed to keeping it under a gazillion.This JOKE Site is in No Way Connected With Fox News:Q: Why is Fox News suing Al Franken over his use of "Fair and Balanced"?A: Even they want to stop perpetuating the lie.Q: What did Bill O'Reilly say about Al Franken's use of "Fair and Balanced"?A: "Shut up! Just shut up! You're wrong! This is about free speech, so just shut up!"Q: Why has Kobe Bryant started watching so much Fox News?A: Because manipulating the truth takes practice.The Splendid Splintered:Q: Why are Red Sox fans so excited about Ted Williams being decapitated?A: Because they are finally "a head" by one over the Yankees.Q: Why did the family of Ted Williams have him decapitated?A: They were hoping for a cameo on Futurama.Q: What do President Bush and Ted Williams have in common?A: Neither has a good head on their shoulders.More Recall Jokes:Q: Why are the Iraqi people so confused by american democracy?A: Because they thought the idea was to get rid of The Terminator.Q: In the California election, why is it so odd that Larry Flynt is running?A: Because he can't even walk.Q: Why isn't Ronald Reagan running for governor of California?A: Cuz Recall isn't his thing anymore.Q: What did Schwarzenegger say when asked if he has ever used steroids?A: "I once put one in my mouth, but, I never swallowed."Q: What do Bill Clinton and Arnold Schwarzenegger have in common?A: They both like "hummers".California Recall:Q: Why would Kobe Bryant make a good governor?A: He's getting his scandal out of the way early.Q: What do Gary Coleman and Larry Flynt have in common?A: They've both made a living off promoting different strokes.Q: Why would Gary Coleman make a bad governor?A: A governor should be able to stand tall and comprehend whatchya talkin' about.Q: Who has the most to lose by a Gary Coleman & Larry Flint debate?A: The podium buildersQ: Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger think the election will be easy?A: Experience. He's already succeeded in one Total RecallQ: What did Jesse Ventura say to Arnold Schwarzenegger?A: See, I told you, politics and steroids mix.Not that there's anything wrong with that:Q: What did the pawns and knights say to the king?A: We don't mind a gay bishop, so long as he sticks to the game plan.Q: Upon hearing of the gay bishop, what did the pawns and knights say to the king?A: There's only room for one queen on this board.Do Over:Q: What did George W. Bush first say when he heard that California was having a recall election?A: "Hello, directory assistance, in Florida, last name Harris, first name Katherine."Q: Who has the most to lose by an Arnold Schwarzenegger & Larry Flynt gubernatorial debate?A: The "closed captioning" typist.Kobe's Choice:Q: What's the next event Kobe Bryant will be attending?A: The Teen not by Choice Awards.Q: Why did Kobe attend the Teen Choice Awards?A: He was fascinated by the "choice" aspect of it.SoS:Q: Why is Colin Powell going to resign as Secretary of State?A: He's sick of Bush always asking him for a shoe shine.Iron Mike:Q: Why is Mike Tyson so worried about filing for bankruptcy?A: Without pictures, he doesn't know if he can make it to Chapter 11.Q: What did Mike Tyson tell his creditors?A: I know it's going to cost me an arm and a leg to get out of this, but,can't we just start with an ear?Joke #6,243,856:In order to prove a point, the US government decided to pick the spot where the brothers Uday and Qusay were to be buried. As the guests arrived for the funeral they were appalled by the squalor of the burial ground. It was covered with raw sewage, rats were everywhere, and the horrific smell was causing people to spontaneously vomit. Then, just before the bodies were lowered into the ground, a US General hurriedly ran up to the soldier in charge and yelled, "What's going on, you can't bury the bodies here." Surprised, the soldier asked "Why not?" The General replied, "Are you blind? Don't you see the sign? It clearly says 'Lawyers Only'".X Gov:Q: Why would Larry Flynt make a good politician?A: He's already made a career out of screwing people.Q: Why should you vote for Larry Flynt?A: He can't walk all over you.Q: Why shouldn't you vote for Larry Flynt?A: He's unable to stand up for himself.Q: What will be Larry Flynt's campaign theme song?A: CalifornicationGeeeleee:Q: Why is the movie Gigli banned in Baghdad?A: They can't take any more bombs.Q: Why is the movie Gigli banned in Baghdad?A: They just got rid of a big ass, why would they want to bring in another?Q: Why do Iraquis think that J-Lo is their new leader?A: Cuz they heard that Ben gave her "a rock"?Hack Attack:Possible Bill Gates responses to the risk of Windows OS users getting hacked:If we could get rid of that annoying cartoony paper clip dude that kept popping up on older versions of MSWord, then we can handle this. There is no need to worry or panic. Regardless of what happens, I will still be worth billions. I don't know anything about it. I use Linux.Gay Marriage:Q: Why doesn't the President have a cat?A: Because he believes it's wrong for bush and pussy to mix.Q: Do you know why so many priests are against gay marriage?A: They figure why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.Q: Why are all marriages now illegal in the US?A: Bush believes homosapien unions are a sin.Hoax the Hoax:Possible Excuses RE: The Missing Girl Phone Call HoaxI thought it would be kind of funny, you know, like Crank Yankers.If he'd let me finish my thought, I was actually calling to offer him a lower long distance plan.I thought that by doing this I could create enough media attention that someone who actually knows something about the case might now come forward. Right? Tell me I'm wrong. That's a good one. Write that down for my lawyer.Bob Hope:Q: Why did Bob Hope die smiling?A: Because he knew he was going to win his death pool.Q: What do Bob Hope and a frozen pizza have in common?A: Both were cheesy, crusty, and now cold to the touch.*NOTE: If you want to make a Weekend at Bernies 3 joke feel free. I just thought it was too easy.Kobe Bryant:Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so POPULAR in prison?A: He's great at penetrating to the hole.Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so UNPOPULAR in prison?A: He's an all-star. He doesn't suck.The Sons:Q: What did Uday and Qusay say right before they were killed?A: Oh geez, please let there be no afterlife, please no afterlife.Q: What did the devil say upon the arrival of Uday and Qusay?A: Uh oh, I may be in trouble at the next election..WMD:Breaking News: The US is going to release a report today with irrefutable proof that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. We are just waiting for the report to be shipped from Africa and once it gets to Iraq it can be disseminated to the press in as little as 45 minutes.In Hiding:Q: Why does Saddam Hussein read the National Enquirer?A: To see how Elvis does it.TV Eye:Q: What is Sammy Davis Jr.s favorite show in heaven?A: "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"Slammin' Sammy:Q: Why did Sammy Sosa put cork in his bat?A: Because it wouldn't fit in his steroids.Where's Kenny?:Q: What did Ken Lay say to Martha Stewart?A: Generally unmarked bills work best, but, sometimes they'll take a check.Space Filler:Undated Nonsense:Q: Why did the Village People sing about the Navy and not the Army?A: Because they prefer seamen.Q: Why does George W. Bush have a dog?A: :To remind him of his mother.Q: Why did George W. Bush used to drink so much?A: He was hoping that Bud would make him Wiser.Q: Why did the boy rifle avoid talking to the girl rifle?A: He was gun shy.Q: Where did the Pentagon get their $500 screws from?A: Heidi FleissQ: Why does President Bush have so much trouble speaking properly?A: Poor puppeteering.HumorLinks Jokes Directory TV Directory Movie Directory Cheap Hosting Entertainment Sites PrivacyWant to Reprint or Post our Jokes? Click Here

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