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Out of step - Military jokes and military humor blog.
LinksHomeMurphy's Laws Of Combat OperationsFamous Latin quotationsMilitary quotesFunny military acronymsMilitary CadencesLinks page Calendar « October 2008 » SunMonTueWedThuFriSat 12345678910111213141516171819202122232425262728293031 ArchivesView Archives2008OctoberLanding Strip10/26/08Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After awhile, just driOne of the happiest moments10/22/08One of the happiest moments of my army training was when the sergeant told Hunting contest10/17/08Two cadets at an Arizona Airforce academy were bragging in their off time aPilots jokes10/14/08What is the ideal cockpit crew?A pilot and a dog. The pilot is there MARINE joke10/11/08Soldier in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna heLanding Strip10/07/08Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After awhile, just driOne of the happiest moments10/02/08One of the happiest moments of my army training was when the sergeant told SeptemberAugustJulyMayAprilMarchFebruaryJanuary2007DecemberNovemberOctoberSeptemberAugustJulyJuneMayMarchFebruaryJanuary2006DecemberNovemberOctoberSeptemberAugust Categoriesarmy jokes army humornavy jokes navy humormarine corps jokes and humorair forces jokes and humorcoast guard jokesveterans humorspecial forces jokesairborne rangers Search   
Landing Strip Sunday, October 26, 2008, 12:08 AM Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After awhile, just drinking gets boring, so the first guy looks at the second guy and says, "Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?" The second guy says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!" So they get some more beer and go for a tour around the city in the plane. Eventually they get bored with this too, so they decide to land. The drunk pilot starts circling around looking for a place to land, and he sees an airstrip close by. He says, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as any." So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last minute he swerves and pulls back up. "Shit!" he says, "That is the SHORTEST runway I have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to land on it?" But since it's the only runway nearby, he decides to try again, with the same result. Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend, "All right, I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't land it we're just going to crash and hope we don't die." So they end up crashing, and miraculously neither is hurt. When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy swears and gesticulates wildly at the runway. "I'm gonna find whoever designed this crazy runway and wring his neck! He must be a total moron! No one could land on anything that short!" The second guy looks around and says "Yeah, but look how wide it is!" | permalink
One of the happiest moments Wednesday, October 22, 2008, 12:05 AM One of the happiest moments of my army training was when the sergeant told me "You are no more use than Jesus Christ's bollocks!"What I knew, and he didn't, was that the Chaplain (a Major) was standing behind him. | permalink
Hunting contest Friday, October 17, 2008, 12:24 AM - air forces jokes and humor Two cadets at an Arizona Airforce academy were bragging in their off time about what good hunters they were. Well, it seems that they decided to have a contest, and whoever won the contest would be accounted the better hunter. To make the things a little more interesting, they each put up a pint of the best whiskey they could find. There had been rumours that a lion had escaped the local zoo and was roaming around loose in the dessert that surrounded the academy. The contest was was that whoever bagged the lion and brought it back to base was the winner.The first cadet borrowed a large hunting rifle and set about hunting down the lion in the conventional manner. The second cadet, who was perhaps a bit more inventive than his counterpart, secured a training jet from the local commander, loaded the wing guns with live ammunition and headed out over the dessert in search of the lion. It wasn't long before he spotted it, and, from the safety of the plane, killed it. He took the plane down, loaded the lion's body into the copilot's seat, and headed back to base, where he promptly downed both bottles.Which just goes to show that a strafed lion is the shortest distance between two pints. | permalink
Pilots jokes Tuesday, October 14, 2008, 12:22 AM - air forces jokes and humor What is the ideal cockpit crew?A pilot and a dog. The pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.How many pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?Just one. He holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.How do you know if there is an pilot at your party?He'll tell you.What's the difference between God and pilots?God doesn't think he's a pilot....What is the difference between an pilot and a pig?The pig doesn't turn into an aviator when it's drunk.What do pilots use for birth control?Their personality.What is the difference between an pilot and a jet engine?A jet engine stops whining when it pulls up to the gate.The difference between the Boy Scouts and the U.S. Air Force?The boy Scouts have adult supervision. | permalink
MARINE joke Saturday, October 11, 2008, 12:18 AM Soldier in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a MARINE joke?"The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The Soldier says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times." | permalink
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